Things about my mother that make me laugh/pity myself/cry.

Read the title.

1. My mother seems to believe that if it isn't christian or 'good', so to speak, it's out to get you.
Prime example: Music.

Hillsong? Newsboys? Christ Tomlin? good.
Jimi Hendrix? Cinderella? Van Halen? hell no.


2. If it has sugar or high-fructose corn syrup, we shouldn't buy it.
Prime example: Frosted Mini-wheats.

Yes, my mother didn't want to buy FROSTED MINI-WHEATS because it had 16 grams of sugar in a serving. I understand why she might not want us having a lot of sugar, but come on, FROSTED MINI-WHEATS? Those things are like an entire salad packed into one little cube of wheat.


3. On the internet, everything is out to get you.
Prime example: everything on the internet.

That's kind of a given.


4. She attaches extreme adjectives to mild things.
Prime example: Swearing in movies.

I'll just be sitting there, watching Saving Private Ryan, when someone drops an F-bomb or whatever, and then my mom, who is standing in the kitchen, will remark,

"This is terrible language!".

No mom, this is fairly mild language. It's not terrible. Actually, compared to real-life, this is like Dora the Explorer. It's not terrible, it's more like "lacking in taste", or "poor", etc. That just irks me whenever I hear that.


5. She will say things we already have heard from her.
Prime example[s]: High-fructose corn syrup, parking lots.

We'll just be going through a grocery store and then me or one of my brothers will pick up some delicous drink. Then my mom will look at it and make some very obvious remark about how high-fructose corn syrup is bad for you. No, really? And then, two weeks later, same thing. And then it happens again. Wheee.

And then, we'll be in the car, driving in a parking lot. When we park, my mom will say something about how most automobile accidents happen in parking lots. And then, two weeks later, same thing. And then it happens again. ...yep.



I love my mom, sure, and I do understand why she is so important, but sometimes, I just really hate her.